I am back in school and it has been a lot tougher to adjust than usual. This school year, my confidence and self-esteem have been at an all time low. Being around people who are teacher favourites and have their shit together is hard for me. I have been going through a constant battle of beating myself up and not being as confident in my abilities as I should. I think I have mentioned this in another post but I really wanted to be more outgoing and allow more people to get to know me, especially teachers. I tried to be confident and be more outgoing but I have been doubting myself too much.
I don’t want to make this a pity party, I just want to share with everyone how we all experience moments of doubt and low confidence. Every human has moments where they fall into a trap of comparison with people around them. I have been swallowed by self-doubt and allowing myself to believe that I can’t be as successful as my peers. WHICH SUCKS! I am trying to re-shift my thinking so I stop feeling less than other students. I have amazing talents, I need to stop faking confidence and actually being confident.
One thing I am reminding myself of is to have more self compassion. I tend to be very hard on myself for things I can’t fully control. Like grades or how other people see me. I’m a student and need to remember that I am constantly learning, just like everyone else. Slowly but surely, I am showing more love for myself.
I am also trying to remember that I have amazing qualities and abilities, too. I suck at math, I hate public speaking and I’m a bit of an extreme introvert. But, I am smart in so many different ways. I just need to realize that a couple of weaknesses do not make me useless. I am going to stop comparing myself to others because we all have different talents. It is okay to experience doubt in what I am doing, but I need to continually challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone. It’s good to be challenged and grow as a person! I just can’t compare myself to other people and letting negative thoughts ruin my confidence.
I think we all forget to compliment ourselves and show support for what we are doing. It can be hard to change our thoughts because social media has taught us to compare our success to others. I always doubt myself and compare how well I am doing to other people (some who I don’t even know) but I am working on making those negative thoughts stop.
Two books I really enjoyed and helped me regain some confidence were Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae. I loved these books because they provide encouragement and advice for any excuse you could think of to quit on your dreams. Hollis’s book was more for bloggers or women in business, while Rae’s book was for anyone who wanted to actually pursue their real dreams. I would highly recommend both if you need a little advice or motivation to keep being confident in yourself. I might even re-read these books since I have been really struggling to be my own biggest fan. Life is about continually checking in with yourself to see where you can grow. Right now, I can grow by learning to be confident again and not doubting what I bring to the table.